I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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