Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Randomize
