Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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