i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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