I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
