don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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