My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
