Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
