My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
