Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
