good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
