it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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