Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
