some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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