I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
