He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
