Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just blew my weed a kiss
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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