I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize