Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
