pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize