sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
