His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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