hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize