Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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