I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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