Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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