you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
