She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
