You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
