Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
