no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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