Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
And then my night got REAL pukey
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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