I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
