You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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