escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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