Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
