Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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