I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
