you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize