The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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