the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My breasts were aching with rage.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The struggles of a small town man whore
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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