pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize