that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
