WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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