I think i sorta joined a cult last night
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
