I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
