there's paper in my vomit.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I got inside last night via doggy door
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
