I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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