he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
