I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
