That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
