I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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