Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
