Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
