Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
