You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i barfeds in our rink
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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