He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
