why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
