Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize