No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
