My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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