Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm at about main and main street
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
